Dear daughter

From your mum on this special wedding day.

My darling, Chantelle, you and Sam have waited so long for this special day and as the human that gave life to you, I can only ever love you and pray that you find joy , respect , companionship with Sam .

As you took your first breath I prayed , “Bless this baby and guide her to be the very best human being she possibly can be. ” This is the same blessing I still put to the great unknown every night before I sleep.

A few memories are important for such an auspicious occasion.

Dancing, singing and laughing are huge in my memories. I remember Rachel , you and I dancing while washing up after dinner, laughing and talking about our days. Then my arms moved where I told them to and words came out of my mouth without effort or mumble . Now I struggle to break free of my zombi esque reflection. I regret ever worrying about a few extra kilos as my diet is limited to what I can swallow . I look frail. Any suggestion of curves a mere echo of previous voluptuousness.

You have decided that I would not be invited to this special day nor told that it was to occur this year.

I know I can never again look like the mother of the bride in the advertisements. Not the mother you wanted at your perfect day. I never did share your passion for marathon shopping and after 14 years with Parkinson’s , I shake, am in pain , rigid every 3 hours so I couldn’t even if I wanted to.

You, though, are exactly the daughter I prayed for, Chantelle and the first and only grand daughter that my mum, your Grandma named or got to spend precious time with before she died at the very age I am now.

I have come to know .. ME.. Julie Lehfeldt, your mum and she is one heck of a gal!!! I discovered , finally, that some folk are sharks and some whiting, some jelly fish and others squid. I feel more like a dolphin .. recognising the dangers the predators, They abandon no family member .. and there is always time for FUN!

Dance like no one is watching

We convince ourselves that life will be better after
we get married, have a baby, then another.
Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough
and we’ll be more content when they are.

After that, we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with.
We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our
spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer
car, are able to go on a nice vacation,or when we retire.

The truth is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now.
If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.
It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.
Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have
and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special,
special enough to spend your time with…and remember that time
waits for no one.

So, stop waiting

–until your car or home is paid off
–until you get a new car or home
–until your kids leave the house
–until you go back to school
–until you lose ten pounds
–until you gain ten pounds
–until you finish school
–until you get a divorce
–until you get married
–until you have kids
–until you retire
–until summer
–until spring
–until winter
–until fall
–until you die

There is no better time than RIGHT NOW to be happy.


To the brave , laughing, sleep loving, shot drinking social butterfly I knew

I am contented , I am happy.


Have a wonderful life.

love mum


Let’s get the cliches out of the way …

As Parkinson’s has become the house guest that out-stays their welcome and sitting on my hands is no match for the verocity of the Parkinson’s ‘off’ storm..

Just as it was when I was pregnant … (but that was finite and I got to have a cute , suede headed , baby at the end of it )

EVERY ONE has a pearl of wisdom about Parkinson’s

  • They say ; ‘You are so brave. ‘
  • (I say/ think :Thank you but what would you suggest ? How does it look to NOT TO BE BRAVE ?I have no choice )
  • They say ;My great grandmother, second cousin ‘s , once removed on my mother’s side has ‘that’ too.
  • (I think : You don’t want to hear, I will shut up and wait this out)
  • They say ;Alzheimer s is such a terrible disease.
  • Yes it is but Parkinson’s is not Alzheimer’s
  • They say ;Have you tried cannabis?
  • I think: Oh if only I had a $ for each time I was asked that.. 14 Years times at least once a day


I say ‘No I haven’t .


of course I have.

…. and I if I am to face a dragon , a fierce, me eating dragon.. every three hours .. I want to be fully ME.